to that faraway sky
by ncfan
Summary: The moment Irissë learns to walk, she's running, up and out of the front door, onto the lawn, and out of the gate into the streets.


I own nothing.

* * *

The moment Irissë learns to walk, she's running, up and out of the front door, onto the lawn, and out of the gate into the streets. This it takes her longer to learn how to do. Nolofinwë and Anairë had trusted in her lack of height as a young girl to keep her from getting the gate open, but one day when Irissë is five, Findekáno looks out of the window and shouts that she has a fallen tree branch and is using it to open the latch on the gate. And once she's out the gates, she'll head out of the city any way she can, towards the fields and the forests.

She is really quite the wanderer, Irissë. Fëanáro jokes that Nerdanel must have had some influence on her while Anairë was carrying her daughter; Indis remarks that her granddaughter reminds her of some of the Teleri who had stayed behind in Endóre because they loved to roam the starlit wilderness more than they loved the idea of seeing the light of the Trees. Neither are explanations Nolofinwë is entirely happy with, though he especially takes umbrage to the idea of his currently youngest child being compared to the Moriquendi in any way, even if it is by his mother, and even if it isn't meant with malice.

But she is a wanderer. Nolofinwë offers to go with Irissë one day, and she leads him all over the countryside, up the riverbank, through the forests and the green fields, from Laurelin's waxing to the mingling of the Lights. It's amazing, but she seems to know where all the fruit-bearing bushes and trees are, and she even knows which ones are safe to eat and which aren't. There aren't too many plants in Aman that bear fruit poisonous to the Eldalië, but somehow, Irissë knows what they are.

The girl wanders alone, even to the point of sometimes missing lessons when she is old enough to receive them, which gives Nolofinwë no end of grief. Truth be told, even when she is present for lessons, she spends an inordinate amount of time staring out the window on the golden sky and twirling her quill in her hand. Irissë does not learn as quickly as did her brothers; her tutors report that she is fidgety, restless, that she does not always have the easiest time concentrating.

Then, Irissë wanders with one or more of her cousins. Tyelkormo, Findaráto, either one of them or both. At times, Maitimo or Makalaurë may go with them as well, something that gives Nolofinwë some measure of comfort, but none at all when the sky is silver and she has not returned. Neither Fëanáro nor Arafinwë are concerned at all when their children do not return, but Nolofinwë can not share their nonchalance. And then she comes home with twigs in her hair, dirt beneath her fingernails and grass stains on a skirt that had been a pristine shade of white when she left home. Nolofinwë can practically feel Anairë's blood pressure rising, no matter how far apart they are when she sees her daughter after she's been out in the woods.

Other little girls might not wander from home so much. But Irissë has no other little girls to play with. None of Nolofinwë's siblings yet have any daughters, and he has none other; there are other nobles in the city, but she simply does not get on well with them, doesn't get on well with any child who is not kin to her. Her brothers and male cousins are all very fond of her, and she is equally fond of them, and Nolofinwë wishes that one of them, just one, would try to dissuade her from her ceaseless wandering, her restlessness.

Maybe it's not so bad that his daughter loves the woodlands and the wilds as much as she does. He remembers, that after she's been outside in the woods with her cousins, she has a big, giddy grin on her happily flushed face. He remembers, with a faint twinge of guilt in his stomach, that Irissë's face always falls when he shoots a disapproving look at the unkempt state she's wandered home in. Nolofinwë supposes that he should be glad that at least _one _of his children takes an interest in the forests, the way everyone says the Eldalië should; Findekáno and Turukáno certainly take nothing more than a passing interest in the wilderness.

She finds joy in the wilderness, in wandering the wilds of Aman, and seeing anything she can see. Nolofinwë can see that in his daughter. But he can't _understand _it. He has never felt such a love for the woodlands, for exploration. Everyone says that Irissë is just like him—his parents, his brothers and sisters, brother and sisters by marriage. Nolofinwë starts to think that the resemblance is only in looks.

Fëanáro's lip twitches in a smile that's only faintly sharp, as he says one day, "You should teach that girl how to ride a horse."

Nolofinwë groans. "No, no. If I do that I'll never see her again."

"Well, if you do not, I will. I suspect Irissë would show talent for it. Maybe her talents lie outside of the schoolroom."

As much as he does not want to admit it, Nolofinwë must acknowledge the truth in his brother's words. Irissë's talents do not lie inside of a dusty schoolroom. Neither does her love and passion.

-0-0-0-

Probably the earliest memory Irissë has is the joy she feels upon being introduced to the great, wide, green-and-gold-and-silver world. She feels the warmth of Laurelin's light; she smells the sweet grass; she feels the summer heat and the crisp wind on her skin. From that point on, she is left to wonder why so many prefer to be indoors, when they can live outside in the great, wide world.

Her joy sparks desire and curiosity. In Irissë's heart is the desire to see all of Aman, see all of the land where she makes her home. Not just Tirion and the lands surrounding it, but the entire continent, even to the places shrouded in darkness by the Pelóri. She can't do that just yet; she's too little, and her feet by themselves can not carry her everywhere.

Papa and Mama call her restless with furrowed brows and annoyed-sounding voices. Maybe she is. Irissë knows she doesn't feel at home except with the wind on her face and the grass beneath her feet. She never feels completely happy cooped up inside her parents' house. That probably does make her restless. Everybody else in her family is restless, too—they all want some thing or another, and seem unhappy until they have it—but her restlessness is of a different stripe, and is more easily satisfied than theirs.

When no one is watching, Irissë will climb one of the trees on her parents' estate. Mama says she isn't supposed to, that girls wearing dresses, especially white dresses, should not climb trees, but it's the best way to get a good view, and Irissë likes the feeling of being up high.

She stares out, north, south, east, west. She sees a massive, bustling city, and beyond that, fields of swaying grass, farmlands, orchards, untouched forests, mountains. Irissë imagines going to all of those places, and smiles.

* * *

Irissë—Aredhel  
Nolofinwë—Fingolfin  
Findekáno—Fingon  
Fëanáro—Fëanor  
Tyelkormo—Celegorm  
Findaráto—Finrod  
Maitimo—Maedhros  
Makalaurë—Maglor  
Arafinwë—Finarfin  
Turukáno—Turgon

Endóre—Middle-Earth (Quenya)  
Moriquendi—Elves of darkness; any Elf that had not travelled to Aman, especially one who had never seen the light of the Two Trees (singular: Moriquendë) (Quenya)  
Eldalië—'The Elven-folk', a term used to refer to Elves in general


End file.
